Dear Celery,
I've tried. For years, I have been trying to make this work. I walk by you in the grocery stores, and I admit, that you draw me in. I see you sitting there, and I know what you're capable of. I hear the stories people tell about how wonderful you are. I know what you have to offer. But I just have to step away. Over and over again, I've convinced myself to give you a chance. And every time I do, there you sit- in my fridge, for days, weeks, months. Until finally, I throw you in the trash. I know, I know, you're crisp and fresh, but- it isn't enough. I just, well, let me say it- I think you taste awful. I like you in my tuna salad, but that's it. I don't like you with peanut butter, or ranch, or in salads. I just can't keep this charade up anymore. I've given it my best. I've even tried preserving you in tupperware full of water. I know it gives you a longer life, but no ammount of time is enough for us. I just can't give you what you deserve. This is it. Really, this time. This is goodbye. I know that you deserve more.
Best dishes,
Megan
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
this is a bad idea.
ok. so i cancelled cable. (decided i could go without the utter filth, and accept the free channels my little antenna provides.) and this weekend there was nothing on the tube, except an infomercial that i watched for about fifteen minutes.....
introducing 'the new wave oven'. i watched this only because i could not tear myself away. i'm sure this is a bad, bad idea. one that those who cook with it will regret in about ten years when their children start mutating additional appendages from consuming anything cooked in this device.
let me explain. the new wave oven asks that you place FROZEN food in it's chamber. and this thing cooks pounds, upon pounds, of FROZEN meat in minutes. and entire turkey, FROZEN, in 2 hours. who thinks that this sounds normal? does this not scream nuclear problems?
i don't get it.
introducing 'the new wave oven'. i watched this only because i could not tear myself away. i'm sure this is a bad, bad idea. one that those who cook with it will regret in about ten years when their children start mutating additional appendages from consuming anything cooked in this device.
let me explain. the new wave oven asks that you place FROZEN food in it's chamber. and this thing cooks pounds, upon pounds, of FROZEN meat in minutes. and entire turkey, FROZEN, in 2 hours. who thinks that this sounds normal? does this not scream nuclear problems?
i don't get it.
memorial day weekend
i'm convinced that my mother is lying about her age. she never stops. and the woman is 63. she really is amazing. there are lots of things i learn 'as i get older', but appreciating my mom at this depth is something i wish i would have had done all my life.
she came up friday night to see me at work and meet all my new co-workers and doctors. (of course she came with gifts, because she had combed through her flower beds and brought lots of bulbs and plants to give away.) once we got to my place, we unloaded her car. (full of things that had been stored at the house in topeka.) she refinished the leaf of my dining room table, which had been ruined in the move, and it looks absolutely PERFECT. she's amazing. handy-dandy, that woman. she also brought lots of flowers for my place.....and we spent about 10 hours in my flower beds this weekend. i'm convinced that the grounds keeper at my complex sucks, hard core. there was about 2 feet of old mulch on my patio, along with whatever winter debri had not been removed. it was a mess. but now, (pictures coming soon), it's beautiful. i have an herb garden, a couple tomato plants, and the most overgrown rubber plant you have ever seen. (the pot we ended up planting it in will NEVER move.) on top of all that we went to ace hardware about 5 times, combed the prairie village garage sales, met my cousin for lunch and pedicures, finished sewing my curtains, (but NOT on sunday, my mother refuses to sew on a sunday), watched a couple flicks, walked the dog, and worked in the yard some more.
it's really fun to have that time with my mom. makes me miss my brother. and wish he could come visit more often. and when trying to hang shelves, and it doesn't quite go right, makes me miss my dad. cause he would've tore that up in about five seconds. i'm really lucky to have such a great family. i've always said, "we might be a small bunch, but we certainly are mighty." i realize that at 30, i spend a lot more time with my family than the average woman. but i don't care, cause it's really fun. and in hindsight, i wish i would have spent more time with my father, so there are few things i'd rather do than hang with my mom.
she really is the best mom in the world.
she came up friday night to see me at work and meet all my new co-workers and doctors. (of course she came with gifts, because she had combed through her flower beds and brought lots of bulbs and plants to give away.) once we got to my place, we unloaded her car. (full of things that had been stored at the house in topeka.) she refinished the leaf of my dining room table, which had been ruined in the move, and it looks absolutely PERFECT. she's amazing. handy-dandy, that woman. she also brought lots of flowers for my place.....and we spent about 10 hours in my flower beds this weekend. i'm convinced that the grounds keeper at my complex sucks, hard core. there was about 2 feet of old mulch on my patio, along with whatever winter debri had not been removed. it was a mess. but now, (pictures coming soon), it's beautiful. i have an herb garden, a couple tomato plants, and the most overgrown rubber plant you have ever seen. (the pot we ended up planting it in will NEVER move.) on top of all that we went to ace hardware about 5 times, combed the prairie village garage sales, met my cousin for lunch and pedicures, finished sewing my curtains, (but NOT on sunday, my mother refuses to sew on a sunday), watched a couple flicks, walked the dog, and worked in the yard some more.
it's really fun to have that time with my mom. makes me miss my brother. and wish he could come visit more often. and when trying to hang shelves, and it doesn't quite go right, makes me miss my dad. cause he would've tore that up in about five seconds. i'm really lucky to have such a great family. i've always said, "we might be a small bunch, but we certainly are mighty." i realize that at 30, i spend a lot more time with my family than the average woman. but i don't care, cause it's really fun. and in hindsight, i wish i would have spent more time with my father, so there are few things i'd rather do than hang with my mom.
she really is the best mom in the world.
Monday, May 18, 2009
not that interesting
i'm really bad at this. i think blogging is supposed to be funny. at least, all my friends posts are really funny. funny things happen to me, but then i forget. and this week was pretty significant, so maybe i'll tell that story.
on wednesday, may 20th, i will have officially hit the nine month mark. and it's a happy anniversary. it means i've come a long way, and that the 'first year' is almost over. i've survived almost all of it. halloween, thanksgiving, our 'when we started dating' anniversary, christmas, new year's, valentine's day, easter, and now there seems to be only a few left. our wedding anniversary, his birthday, and the fourth of july. i think those will be pretty difficult. i'm going to miss camping over the fourth. we camped a lot, and those weekends were some of our happiest. i love camping. not sure that any of my friends love it, so maybe i'll have to let that one go for awhile.
this last weekend i moved. for the last time. i'm home. and it is perfect. i never thought i would be this happy to live all alone, with my little dog. though i seem to be surviving the memories of the past, i'm so excited for the future. after a long weekend of painting, moving, unloading, loading, unwrapping, and dumping. april, kelly, and i sat on my couches (that have been in a gargage for the majority of this year), turned on the tv and relaxed. that moment seemed very surreal. i can't believe i'm here. with all the things that i love. my pots and pans. my pillows. my bed. i know they are just things, and they can't make me happy, but they make me feel like i can do one of the things that brings me the most joy, and that is being a good homemaker. i'm so happy to be home. i really can't explain it. i cried out of sheer relief/joy/disbelief/humility with my mom. i'm home. i have a home. it's not anyone else's, and no one can yell at me or make me feel scared or alone or abandoned. i'm free.
i'm sitting here typing, kind of annoyed with my wordage. i like to write, and i'm crazy with proper grammar and flowing sentences. and the above jarble is horribly written in my opinion. but it reflects how i feel. totally in awe and barely able to speak. i can't quite put it into words how great it is to have a home. but i have one. and it's amazing.
that's all.
on wednesday, may 20th, i will have officially hit the nine month mark. and it's a happy anniversary. it means i've come a long way, and that the 'first year' is almost over. i've survived almost all of it. halloween, thanksgiving, our 'when we started dating' anniversary, christmas, new year's, valentine's day, easter, and now there seems to be only a few left. our wedding anniversary, his birthday, and the fourth of july. i think those will be pretty difficult. i'm going to miss camping over the fourth. we camped a lot, and those weekends were some of our happiest. i love camping. not sure that any of my friends love it, so maybe i'll have to let that one go for awhile.
this last weekend i moved. for the last time. i'm home. and it is perfect. i never thought i would be this happy to live all alone, with my little dog. though i seem to be surviving the memories of the past, i'm so excited for the future. after a long weekend of painting, moving, unloading, loading, unwrapping, and dumping. april, kelly, and i sat on my couches (that have been in a gargage for the majority of this year), turned on the tv and relaxed. that moment seemed very surreal. i can't believe i'm here. with all the things that i love. my pots and pans. my pillows. my bed. i know they are just things, and they can't make me happy, but they make me feel like i can do one of the things that brings me the most joy, and that is being a good homemaker. i'm so happy to be home. i really can't explain it. i cried out of sheer relief/joy/disbelief/humility with my mom. i'm home. i have a home. it's not anyone else's, and no one can yell at me or make me feel scared or alone or abandoned. i'm free.
i'm sitting here typing, kind of annoyed with my wordage. i like to write, and i'm crazy with proper grammar and flowing sentences. and the above jarble is horribly written in my opinion. but it reflects how i feel. totally in awe and barely able to speak. i can't quite put it into words how great it is to have a home. but i have one. and it's amazing.
that's all.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
on the move.
since it's been awhile on the update... these are the facts:
Since moving to Olathe with Randy and Josh, I never really felt like I adjusted. It's a super far commute to any of my good friends, and I just seemed to sort of isolate myself. The boys were rarely home, and I think I felt more unsettled as time went on.
So, I started apartment hunting, hoping to find something I could move into near the end of the summer. I ended up finding something in Prairie Village, and they had an opening in June. It's a little sooner than I planned, and a little out of my newly "single" budget, but I felt like it was a good decision and just decided to trust God with my finances. (I would need to find another source of income....)
In the meantime, I'm back with April. Lily is back with my mom. It was the best decision for my spirit and my fellowship.
The divorce is final, and I'm finishing up the taxes for Mario and I. I owe quite a bit because we are filing seperately, but I'm hopeful that this will be the last financial burden I face as a result of our marriage.
I'm not quite sure how this story ends up....nor do I think I will understand how it unfolded, for some time. But, I do know I'm a little bit more of myself everyday. I don't think the "pre-Mario" Megan exists anymore, but I think the "post-Mario" Megan is similar to the old one, maybe just a little bit smarter, and a little bit more wary.
Since moving to Olathe with Randy and Josh, I never really felt like I adjusted. It's a super far commute to any of my good friends, and I just seemed to sort of isolate myself. The boys were rarely home, and I think I felt more unsettled as time went on.
So, I started apartment hunting, hoping to find something I could move into near the end of the summer. I ended up finding something in Prairie Village, and they had an opening in June. It's a little sooner than I planned, and a little out of my newly "single" budget, but I felt like it was a good decision and just decided to trust God with my finances. (I would need to find another source of income....)
In the meantime, I'm back with April. Lily is back with my mom. It was the best decision for my spirit and my fellowship.
The divorce is final, and I'm finishing up the taxes for Mario and I. I owe quite a bit because we are filing seperately, but I'm hopeful that this will be the last financial burden I face as a result of our marriage.
I'm not quite sure how this story ends up....nor do I think I will understand how it unfolded, for some time. But, I do know I'm a little bit more of myself everyday. I don't think the "pre-Mario" Megan exists anymore, but I think the "post-Mario" Megan is similar to the old one, maybe just a little bit smarter, and a little bit more wary.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
gadgets
i can run a PC in my sleep. i understand my phone, (to a degree). i can somehow manage to get music on and off my ipod. i know photoshop, electronic medical records, and whatever else i've figured out along the way. last week i tried my hand at the drums via "rock band". and mariokart and i equal total domination.
enter, ps3. my nemesis.
not too long ago the price boys, april and i decided to hibernate an entire saturday. the whole day. it was glorious. we put a blanket up over the window as to enhance black-out mode. rented a couple flicks. ate some...ate some more. and we watched an awesome movie on the ol' ps3.
three days later, in an effort to not purchase my very own copy of the flick from blockbuster, i tried to return it. except it was stuck in the sacred tomb. (aka- the ps3.) i use the phrase "sacred tomb" in all seriousness. because that's how secure this thing is. (well, at first glance.)
effort #1- push all buttons possible on the front of the device. nothing.
effort #2- push all buttons on a hand controller. nothing.
effort #3- wave hands like a stark-raving idiot in front of device as if to set of some magical sensor that would set my captive dvd free. nothing.
effort#4- wish my roomates were home to give instruction.
effort #5- return to punching buttons. combos of buttons. combos of waving hands and pushing buttons. nothing.
effort #6- wish my roomates would answer their damn phones.
effort #7- wave arms fast. wave arms slow.
effort #8- daydream throwing said device against a wall.
effort #9- finally realize there is a power button hidden on the back. push eject. sigh of relief.
moral of the story: i'm going to go buy a Wii.
enter, ps3. my nemesis.
not too long ago the price boys, april and i decided to hibernate an entire saturday. the whole day. it was glorious. we put a blanket up over the window as to enhance black-out mode. rented a couple flicks. ate some...ate some more. and we watched an awesome movie on the ol' ps3.
three days later, in an effort to not purchase my very own copy of the flick from blockbuster, i tried to return it. except it was stuck in the sacred tomb. (aka- the ps3.) i use the phrase "sacred tomb" in all seriousness. because that's how secure this thing is. (well, at first glance.)
effort #1- push all buttons possible on the front of the device. nothing.
effort #2- push all buttons on a hand controller. nothing.
effort #3- wave hands like a stark-raving idiot in front of device as if to set of some magical sensor that would set my captive dvd free. nothing.
effort#4- wish my roomates were home to give instruction.
effort #5- return to punching buttons. combos of buttons. combos of waving hands and pushing buttons. nothing.
effort #6- wish my roomates would answer their damn phones.
effort #7- wave arms fast. wave arms slow.
effort #8- daydream throwing said device against a wall.
effort #9- finally realize there is a power button hidden on the back. push eject. sigh of relief.
moral of the story: i'm going to go buy a Wii.
Friday, February 20, 2009
processing
my counselor told me to journal. i'm too impatient to journal. i think too fast, get annoyed, and quit. so i thought blogging would be good.
i've been processing a lot lately. my dad's death. my upcoming divorce. i think my pride gets in the way most of the time. thinking, "how did I become that girl?" it's a gross thought. the deep hearted truth of that question needs some serious time, but lately i can't help but think about jess and joel.
i sang in their wedding. "give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession...to know and follow hard after you." i prayed that a great deal over them and cora, during her stay in the hospital. thinking of their young love and that wonderful day, thinking of them full of hopes and dreams. sure that never would have dreamed they would lose their beautiful daughter to cancer so young. my heart hurts for them. i had a three months to say good-bye to my dad. i can't imagine processing such a devastating surprise.
and then i remembered the day i decided to leave my husband. i literally felt like i was dying. it hurt to breath and think. and i wonder daily if they feel that ache. praying that they will have the peace to breathe and sleep. sleep being the only thing that kept me sane in the exhaustion of living those first few days without Mario. every movement cause pain. and i truly thought that it would never stop.
life is so uncertain. and the pain of loss is truly unbearable, at times. but, i am making it. and so will they. probably with more grace than i ever did. but the strong survive. and He makes us strong. i'm stronger now than i ever thought i would be again.
praise the Lord.
i've been processing a lot lately. my dad's death. my upcoming divorce. i think my pride gets in the way most of the time. thinking, "how did I become that girl?" it's a gross thought. the deep hearted truth of that question needs some serious time, but lately i can't help but think about jess and joel.
i sang in their wedding. "give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession...to know and follow hard after you." i prayed that a great deal over them and cora, during her stay in the hospital. thinking of their young love and that wonderful day, thinking of them full of hopes and dreams. sure that never would have dreamed they would lose their beautiful daughter to cancer so young. my heart hurts for them. i had a three months to say good-bye to my dad. i can't imagine processing such a devastating surprise.
and then i remembered the day i decided to leave my husband. i literally felt like i was dying. it hurt to breath and think. and i wonder daily if they feel that ache. praying that they will have the peace to breathe and sleep. sleep being the only thing that kept me sane in the exhaustion of living those first few days without Mario. every movement cause pain. and i truly thought that it would never stop.
life is so uncertain. and the pain of loss is truly unbearable, at times. but, i am making it. and so will they. probably with more grace than i ever did. but the strong survive. and He makes us strong. i'm stronger now than i ever thought i would be again.
praise the Lord.
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