retired

my new home: http://www.megsinkcpart2.blogspot.com/

i was on another friend's blog the other day, (yes. i do check this all the time. don't worry, i'm stalking you all.), and i noticed out of the corner of my eye- "thirtysomething- updated 7 months ago" SEVEN!

worst. blogger. ever.

life is good, dear friends. ridiculously, amazingly, undeservingly good. too much to tell you about....but good enough to retire this blog. i think it represents a certain phase of life that has come to a close. there's been lots to celebrate- but lots of grief and moving forward is wrapped up in these posts. i'm glad i'll have them to look back on, but it's time to shut er' down.

from now on- you can get updates here: http://www.megsinkcpart2.blogspot.com/ this little gem will be full of all the things i love to fill my friends' bellies with....nothing really brings me to life more than making pretty and delicious things. so- a new leaf!

i've been working on some updates to my apartment. in about a week it will all be done and i'll have great things to share. until then....try to hold onto the supsense.

dear mom

mama,

i have known all my life that you wanted a little girl named "megan noel" and a little boy named "kevin alan". you wanted us more than anything. (dad too, but today this is about you.)

you are an exceptional mother. after teaching all day, i do not know how you always entered our home in the evening with a smile on your face. ready to cook dinner, or take us to music lessons, or boy scouts, or 4H, or a school project. you always put aside your own needs to make sure we had all the experiences life had to offer. only to have to somehow manage to get us out of bed the next morning for school. (not an easy task, i know.)

you have modeled a life of humility, service, love and loyalty. and while your genes have given me curly hair, good vocal chords, and artistic ability- the way i've seen you live your life has offered me so much more.

i'm so thankful for many life lessons. most of all, i thank the Lord every day that you taught us to live without prejudice. from the time i was a child, i can remember you making it very clear to me that color/economic status/sexual orientation/religion were not ways to define people. it was very important that we understood all people were to be treated with kindness and love. prejudice and judgement were not acceptable behaviors in our home. thank you.

honestly mama, thank you for so many things. thank you for life. and i don't mean just for giving birth to me, i mean for bringing me back to life these last 2 years.

i mean, what would i have done without you? honestly. you stepped in- like a warrior. right in front of me. made decisions when i couldn't. gave me the strength to leave. i honestly thought i wasn't going to make it. but with the care you offered, and the strength the Lord gave you, you did it.

i love you. i love it that you are my friend. i love speaking honestly with you. i love spending time with you. i love watching you walk with the Lord. i love watching you worship Him with your friends. i love it the most when you pray over me on the phone.

happy mother's day. i will see you on wednesday. and we will celebrate you!

just so i can laugh at this in ten years.

it is no secret that april joy seehorn is one of my favorite people on this planet. she is, for lack of a better word, my 'wing-man'.

we're pretty funny together. zac always says we're like a circus side show. and other people have said we have a 'secret language'. i think it's safe to say you could think it's an act we put on to entertain our friends...but just so you know we's always be keepin' it real. here is a recent text conversation:

april: your bf, JT, is a dbag. have you read perez?

me: no

april: one of your boyfriends will not let your other boyfriend sing his songs. i think they're fighting over you.

**me: quickly log onto perezhilton.com and find out that justin timberlake (my boyfriend) will not sign over his rights to his songs to be sung on glee...(by corey monteith, my other boyfriend.) the horror, gasp.**

me: you're right. they are. it's sad.

april: i think you should have a sit down with them and explain you have enough love to go around...and be sure they're shirtless during your conversation.

me: i like the way you think. you know me so well.

and this is how we do.

resilience.

this is lily. she is four. i love her. two years ago...i said often, 'she's the only smart thing i did in two years.' i'll still stand by that statement. lil makes people laugh. she doesn't shed and she doesn't smell. she doesn't wine or bark. she walks off leash and she never runs away. she happily gets in her 'hut' when i go to work. in fact, my dog is so cool that people come to my house when i'm not home just to hang out with her. i could go on....

i've been thinking about this because a family i love has had to find a new home for their sweet, sweet dog. (i'm not one of those bloggers that feels it is my place to provide some sort of 'link' or tell you their story, so i won't.) just know that as they have faced loss and grief, their dog has also shared this burden with them, and is no longer healthy and happy. they have found her a new home. this is so sad. i have cried as i read these last posts from my friend. cried because i love their dog. cried because i'm so sad they face yet another loss and transition. but i celebrate their decision to do what is best, even though it is hard to say goodbye.

in praying for them and hoping for them, i've found myself reflecting on lily. and how thankful i am for her resilience. i mean, she was initially raised in a home full of lots and lots of male yelling. (she is somewhat afraid of men, still. but getting better.) and when i left my husband i gave her to my mom for awhile because i was worried he would steal her. she lived with me again after i got my apartment. and now, she pops back and forth between my house and my moms depending on the weather or my travels. and she is so happy.

i'm thankful for her. she has sat with me through these years of grief and moving on. it may sound silly, but she has provided lots of joy and lots of fun during initially lonely times. she sleeps at my feet as i write this, and i just have to take a moment to thank the Lord for her companionship. and her ability to adapt to different environments in stressful situations.

as the saying goes, she may not be my best friend, but she is a good friend, indeed.