the process.

gag. vomit.

i hate searching for jobs. hate it.

the axe finally dropped. i don't even remember the term they used. it all sucks. neurology consultants has to sell-out to the big man before my sweet, hard working doctors go crazy. my position is eliminated, and they sadly let me go.

i'm okay with it. not offended at all. i know they love me and think i'm a star employee. there just isn't a bad employee here, and they've all been here FOREVER.

the thing i'll miss most is

#1- this man. he's been like a dad. he listens to me ramble, tells me that i'll fall in love again one day, laughs at celebrity gossip, listens to me talk about tv, and life. he has been my friend. and newsflash- totally inappropriate to associate with a 67 year old man outside the workplace. so, aside from an occasional stop in to the office. the working relationship ends.

#2- trust. they so trust me to do nearly anything. it's not easily given in the workplace, and i have theirs.

#3- cocktail hour on friday's when the last patient walks out the door. it's so fun. (i mean, what doctor's office you know keeps a six-pack in the fridge and wine cart in the closet?)

#4-patients. i love our crazy, insane, needy patients.

#5-music. sweet dr. kelley brings me cd's he thinks i cannot live without. who does that?

that's not it. but those are the things i'm hoping to find in a new place.

i'm not even freaking out about this. (mass hysteria when i found out about the 'merger' in january.) but now, i have an overwhelming peace that something great is coming.

something great.

and i'd just like to point out......when grey's anatomy merged....there were some seriously hot doctors and a lot of making out. i kind of feel ripped off. i mean....i want my own mcsteamy.

i've got- mcnothing.