on the move.

since it's been awhile on the update... these are the facts:

Since moving to Olathe with Randy and Josh, I never really felt like I adjusted. It's a super far commute to any of my good friends, and I just seemed to sort of isolate myself. The boys were rarely home, and I think I felt more unsettled as time went on.

So, I started apartment hunting, hoping to find something I could move into near the end of the summer. I ended up finding something in Prairie Village, and they had an opening in June. It's a little sooner than I planned, and a little out of my newly "single" budget, but I felt like it was a good decision and just decided to trust God with my finances. (I would need to find another source of income....)

In the meantime, I'm back with April. Lily is back with my mom. It was the best decision for my spirit and my fellowship.

The divorce is final, and I'm finishing up the taxes for Mario and I. I owe quite a bit because we are filing seperately, but I'm hopeful that this will be the last financial burden I face as a result of our marriage.

I'm not quite sure how this story ends up....nor do I think I will understand how it unfolded, for some time. But, I do know I'm a little bit more of myself everyday. I don't think the "pre-Mario" Megan exists anymore, but I think the "post-Mario" Megan is similar to the old one, maybe just a little bit smarter, and a little bit more wary.

gadgets

i can run a PC in my sleep. i understand my phone, (to a degree). i can somehow manage to get music on and off my ipod. i know photoshop, electronic medical records, and whatever else i've figured out along the way. last week i tried my hand at the drums via "rock band". and mariokart and i equal total domination.

enter, ps3. my nemesis.

not too long ago the price boys, april and i decided to hibernate an entire saturday. the whole day. it was glorious. we put a blanket up over the window as to enhance black-out mode. rented a couple flicks. ate some...ate some more. and we watched an awesome movie on the ol' ps3.

three days later, in an effort to not purchase my very own copy of the flick from blockbuster, i tried to return it. except it was stuck in the sacred tomb. (aka- the ps3.) i use the phrase "sacred tomb" in all seriousness. because that's how secure this thing is. (well, at first glance.)

effort #1- push all buttons possible on the front of the device. nothing.

effort #2- push all buttons on a hand controller. nothing.

effort #3- wave hands like a stark-raving idiot in front of device as if to set of some magical sensor that would set my captive dvd free. nothing.

effort#4- wish my roomates were home to give instruction.

effort #5- return to punching buttons. combos of buttons. combos of waving hands and pushing buttons. nothing.

effort #6- wish my roomates would answer their damn phones.

effort #7- wave arms fast. wave arms slow.

effort #8- daydream throwing said device against a wall.

effort #9- finally realize there is a power button hidden on the back. push eject. sigh of relief.

moral of the story: i'm going to go buy a Wii.

processing

my counselor told me to journal. i'm too impatient to journal. i think too fast, get annoyed, and quit. so i thought blogging would be good.

i've been processing a lot lately. my dad's death. my upcoming divorce. i think my pride gets in the way most of the time. thinking, "how did I become that girl?" it's a gross thought. the deep hearted truth of that question needs some serious time, but lately i can't help but think about jess and joel.

i sang in their wedding. "give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession...to know and follow hard after you." i prayed that a great deal over them and cora, during her stay in the hospital. thinking of their young love and that wonderful day, thinking of them full of hopes and dreams. sure that never would have dreamed they would lose their beautiful daughter to cancer so young. my heart hurts for them. i had a three months to say good-bye to my dad. i can't imagine processing such a devastating surprise.

and then i remembered the day i decided to leave my husband. i literally felt like i was dying. it hurt to breath and think. and i wonder daily if they feel that ache. praying that they will have the peace to breathe and sleep. sleep being the only thing that kept me sane in the exhaustion of living those first few days without Mario. every movement cause pain. and i truly thought that it would never stop.

life is so uncertain. and the pain of loss is truly unbearable, at times. but, i am making it. and so will they. probably with more grace than i ever did. but the strong survive. and He makes us strong. i'm stronger now than i ever thought i would be again.

praise the Lord.

favorite moments of the new year: part 1

here's to looking better at 30, than we ever did in highschool.

for megan's 30th birthday we rallied together as many of the 'old crew' as we could and

hit t-town.

the evening went as follows:

megan in her birthday hat.


drink the size of my head #1


drink the size of my head #2


are we really at jeremiah bullfrog's?

THE END.

and the following weekend...

april helped me celebrate my 30th in style with a wickedly awesome birthday cake and flowers from my new boyfriend...justin timberlake.

it's time

so it's here. i'm thirty. and i'm not quite sure that makes my life interesting to read about, but i am sure that it is a new day. a new year. a new era. and...i miss kellie. and ginger. and dave. and jess. and really, the list goes on and on. so long in fact that i don't have the time (nor the Sprint minutes) to do all the 'catching up' i'd like to do. so....i'm caving to blogging. life's been a little bumpy lately. ok, a lot bumpy. and i'm learning how important it is to stay connected. so this is another attempt. no matter how technologically challenged i may be. here i go.